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Date: Eavesdropping
Title: Sept WnW
Date: 22 Aug 2005
Time: 10:14:37 -0400
Eavesdrop I spend a many an hour eavesdropping via the VHF radio on channel 9. Floating in the vastness of the Gulf and hearing another person’s voice, that is greater than 32 feet from me, can give a comfort in case ever something would go terribly wrong. Mostly what I hear is idle chit-chat with a country-fried trucker overtone. On weekends, the radio waves are filled to the point that a ten minute silence would be golden. I feel like I’m rolling the big rig down I-95 with a load of marine parts and fishing accessories. Surprisingly, one thing the radio can do is indicate how well the grouper are biting. If the bite is on, it is a wonder some have time to reel in a fish for grabbing the microphone and telling their buddy about it. “What about it Rubber Ducky this is Daddy’s Paycheck…” “Go ahead” “We’re killing ‘em” “Where ya at?” “You remember that place we were at a few weeks ago with Uncle Chewy?” “Yea, You bottom fishing?” “Trolling” “What are you fishing with?” “You remember that plug I bought at the Walmart when we were there with the girls… Green and yellow with the 58 black stripes?” A long silence follows because Daddy’s Paycheck stumbled and broke Fishing Man Code #164.A3 a.k.a. letting the cat out of bag. After an uncomfortable delay…”Teeeeeen fo’”. I wonder what Rubber Ducky said after he turned the microphone off? Yacking about catching fish is fine if everyone is doing equally well. However, a radio can become a torment if the bite is generally slow except for one guy who discovered a hot-bed of fish and can’t keep his hand off the microphone. “How bout it Stink Bait this is Mamma’s Ring” “Go ahead” “How ya doing?” “We’re picking up some grunts, bout it” “One more fish and I’m limited out!” “Ten four” The words of one gleeful individual wafts across the radios of less fortunate boats like a fart in church where no one says anything but we all want to get up and leave. I’ve had days when we were picking up a fish here and there. A slow process of making a good basket of fish can put a drag on the day. In chirps Bubba “How bout it Reef Robber this is Wave Whacker.” “Go ahead R&R.” “How ya doing?” “We ‘bout to wrap this up, you?” “We limited headed to the hill” “Teeeen fo, we be right behind you” It takes much self restraint not to grab the mic and yell “Shut up, I’m trying to make a living out here!” Instead of doing that, I use it as an incentive to fish harder. I’ve also learned not to let it get to me. The next day, when no one who was on my boat would ever find out, of coarse, I found out those two boats limited out with a combined total of twenty grouper and had me somewhat disappointed with the less than limit of twenty four on my boat. “How bout it Fishing Fool this is Sea Chaser” “Go ahead” “You ain’t going to believe this but we got nine hawg grouper. The smallest is fifteen pounds and the biggest is close to thirty” “Way to go ‘hawg dawg’! Got pictures?” “Naw, but I’m going to get one of those idiot proof cameras at the marina when we get to the dock.” “Teeeen fo” I listened to that and turn to see five guys looking at me. The largest grouper we had may push just over ten pounds. In awhile, one asks “Captain, what’s the biggest grouper you ever caught?” I smile and say “thirty-one pounds”. Then I tell the truth “Twenty five and half on the scales.” And I explain “Radio fish can weigh a bunch more than land fish.” I erase some of the confused looks when I say “A radio fish can lose 50% of its weight when it’s put in the cooler and brought back to land.” The rest of the confusion was lifted when I relate “I remember a guy telling me he caught a thirty five pound grouper that day. I said I’ve never seen a thirty five pound grouper come off a recreational boat in Steinhatchee. I asked where it was at and he replied “in my cooler on the boat”. That is a whale of a catch, I’d like to see it, if you don’t mind. By the time he slid off the Tiki bar stool and got to the boat, the fish had lost ten pounds. It lost five more after stepping on the boat. It lost a couple more once the cooler lid came open. It was a fine eighteen pound gag grouper. The point is: Don’t believe everything you hear. The radio can get quiet when the fish aren’t cooperative. It’s been quiet lately during the heat of summer. Keeper grouper are hard to come by inside of sixty-five feet when the sky-heater is on broil. The Gulf waters are deadfully calm, the air thick with moist salt vapor and the still heat can make time slow down. Toward the end of the day some will quip in that the fishing is terrible. “We wasted the day to catch two or three grouper.” And I think, no you wasted a day because you chose to grouper fish all day. There other fish in the sea. Many of which are so active that they have vaulted themselves out of the water to show you. “Oh, those are just jack crevalle, bonita, spanish mackerel, bluefish or barracuda, I don’t like eating those!” “When’s the last time you missed a meal?” Would it be a horrible waste of time to take a half an hour to toss a spoon, plug or anything into a school of exploding fish and have your reel drag tested. Heck, scare yourself and use the lightest tackle to test yourself. If you lose the fight, what have you lost? Watch out, that inedible, waste-of-time fish just slapped a smile on your face, made you stop thinking about how hot it was and gave the rest of the crew something fun to do besides sweat excessively because you’re obsessed with a single species of fish. Goodness, it’s a win, win, win triple crown of fishing fun. This week I had a fourteen year old boy land a barracuda six inches shorter than he was tall. That day we caught a few grouper and some snapper but what do you think he’s talking about when he tells his friends at school about his fishing trip? Don’t fish with your stomach. Life offers too few fishing trips to get anchored down by what you pass through your gastrointestinal tract. Fish with your mind and fill it with great memories. Sometimes I believe the radio is on the comedy channel. I’ll share these two gems. “Jim, Jim this is Bob” “Go ahead, Bob” “Jim, Jim this is Bob” “Bob this Jim, what can I do for you?” “Jim, turn your volume up I can’t hear you good.” “Mike, Mike this is Johnny.” “Mike, Mike this is Johnny.” Mike, Mike this is Johnny!” Mike, Mike this is Johnny!!” “Mike, turn your radio on.” And in closing, I hear this question asked all the time. The answer is fourteen. Ten plus four equals fourteen. Roger? Oh, just an FYI moment: When you make a statement on your VHF radio and end it with the word ‘over’, it means you are expecting a reply. When you make a statement on your VHF radio and end it with the word ‘out’, it means you are not expecting a reply. When you make a statement on your VHF radio and end it with ‘over and out’ I think it means you expect more communication but you’re not going to listen. I believe it is analogous to when you’re bickering with your other half and she provokes your response but she ain’t going to listen to a word you say. Don’t use ‘over and out’ because it only made sense in old war movies and it didn’t make sense then either. Thanks for taking your time to read this. Take care of yourself and the tackle. Capt B There is nothing that attracts human nature more powerfully than the sport of tempting the unknown with a fishing line. — HENRY VAN DYKE (1899)