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Date: Honey DOOOOOOOOOs
Title:
Date: 24 Jan 2005
Time: 16:12:13 -0500
“Cold Front” I’m sitting in front of the computer trying to think of something interesting enough to merit your reading. I’ve heard of writers block but I think I have ‘cold front block’. This weeks cold front has ‘shut’er down’ so we couldn’t “Git ‘R Done”. So I’ve been stuck on shore this week not looking forward to the remainder of ‘Honey Do’ season. During warm weather, I remember smiling and saying “I’d love to do that for you Honey but I’ve got to go fishing…” Now, it’s a Tim ‘the Tool Man’ Taylor routine around the house where I inflict all manner of bodily injury to myself with hand and power tools. I’m not a handy man. I’m a left handed handicapped man. The tools I have are all right handed. A hammer is what I use to paint my thumbnail black. Years ago, when she asked me to fix something, she would hang around and watch. I thought “I bet she didn’t think I knew anything about how to fix this. I must be impressive. She’s watching every nimble move her ‘stud man’ is making. Look at her check out my butt.” Then something would happen and she’d be applying a cold compress while listening to my excuse of how the idiot engineers, before me, had done it all wrong. After awhile, she’d have her girlfriends over while I was involved in a project. I thought “look at those women watch me. I bet they wished their husbands were as handy as the Ol’ B man. They’re checking out my butt.” I found out later, they couldn’t miss it due to the water company adding some chemical that caused the cotton in men’s jeans to shrink making that part of my anatomy appear larger than it really was. Anyway, it was nice to have them around to stop bleeding and apply cold compresses while listening to me explain how the idiot engineers should have done it right to start with so it wouldn’t break in the first place. Then it happened. The gals didn’t rush to assist me up. So I rolled over, turned to see four women in lawn chairs, sipping tea and sharing chocolate. I gave them the hurt puppy dog look to watch them flash score cards at me. The average of the best three was 5.6 (I would have scored better if I had fallen from greater height). The low score, 2.7, I disregarded it, came from my wife. Apparently, in the past, she had witnessed a better routine. Honey Do season is long and rough on the body. Inshore anglers, those that dare the weather, are still picking up some nice trout along the drop offs in the flats. Also, trout and reds are being picked up in the creeks. Creek fishing is the best bet during the heavy blow of cold fronts. The fish run up the creeks for protection from the elements. Follow the lead of the fish, it seems to be the smart thing to do. This is the time of year that favors the small shallow draft boats that can perform well in the confines of the estuaries. Take care, thanks for reading, I hope the blurb at the beginning raised a smile. Capt B